It's been so long since I have posted. I mean to, but each month that passes makes it harder and harder to post because I am not so sure where to start? Do I go back to last September and catch you all up on everything that has happened including my last surgery in January (which has subsequently failed) to my retirement at work to stay home and play with Blaker on a full time basis! Truly, so much has happened in the last few months, I am not sure if playing catch-up is the smartest move. I will try to cover all my bases when the time comes. Does everyone feel like the last year has flown by?
Blake is amazing. He is 21 months old and full of life, love and laughter! He is such a blessing to our lives. We are in awe with his growth, his unique personality, his quirks, his moods (yes, there are many) and his fearless attitude! Blake is doing what you all warned us about ... he is growing so big, so fast! Right before our eyes he went from baby to boy. I sit and think about the last year and a half and while I am so very blessed with our miracles of life, in a way I felt a little cheated. His newborn stage is just a blur to me. Blake pulls out the photo albums and we look at the countless pictures of him when he was a teeny baby and I am in the pictures, ill and frail, grey and weak. No wonder I can't remember his first few months. I am so very blessed to be alive, to smell the fresh air with deep, slow breaths and to see him grow bigger and stronger each and every day. But I was still missing out. I never felt as though I have taken the mothering experience by the reins quite yet. I was juggling work, baby, doctor's appointments, wife and other commitments. Something had to give. Well, leave it to me to chose the only one that pays (dollars at least). As of April 24th, I left the District Attorney's Office in order to dedicate myself to my family and my health. This was one of the toughest decisions of my life, but one which I am at peace with. The tough part is I LOVE my job, my coworkers, the cause ... I believe in what I do! Part of what brings me peace of mind in leaving the office is knowing that in a few years once Blake is in school, I will be back to practicing law full-time. In the meantime, it is me and the kid (and the dog and the dad, oh cat too).
Last week, I traveled to DC with Susan G. Komen for the Cure as part of a lobbying trip. Not only was it my first trip to DC & I have a passion for policy, but I went with a girlfriend of mine and we snuck in some sightseeing. I had the opportunity to meet many legislators in one-on-one (four) meetings and share our journey with them. To take you to the moment with me, I began our journey by showing Senator Boxer and the Congressmen a picture of Blake. I told them that it was when I was pregnant with Blaker, our only child and at 27 years old, I was told I have breast cancer. A few of the members (in their politician-ian way) asked to hold onto Blake's picture! : ) Senator Boxer said Blake looks just like her newborn grandson! : ) And Congressman Costa even cried a bit (perhaps on cue, but I'll take it)! : ) Amazing - all this in support of breast cancer legislation to bring more attention to young women facing a risk of breast cancer.
As an aside, I came home to learn about little Hannah, a 10 year old girl in southern California facing a double mastectomy and Stage II breast cancer (diagnosed in April, just last month). HELLO PEOPLE ... our 10 year old children with breast cancer! Please, please, let's find a cure. In the meantime, please take your life in your own hands and do self exams! Read more about Hannah at a blog being kept by her father at www.ourlittlesweetpea.com.
Blake is going be up in a minute. I am closing this post in memory of Shawna Lynn Kilbert. 2009 has been a tough year for us. Shawna is my dear friend I met in chemo. Shawna, the mother of Preston (age 6) and Logan (age 3) and wife to Dan, passed away after an undeniably amazing fight against cervical cancer. Shawna is being honored on Regis and Kelly this morning as the Mother of the Year, which is undeniably fitting for her. Shawna's life as a mother and wife and friend and her battle with cancer at 34 years old was a huge force is encouraging me to spend more time with Blake now! Not a day goes by that I do not think of Shawna and I am so blessed to have had her in my life.
More to come, I promise, promise, promise!
Life is good ... sticky fingers with ice cream good.
I love you lil' sis!
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