And Treatment Goes On, And On, And On!

I am two weeks out from my last post. Quite a bit happened, mostly good!

As far as treatment goes, let me try to catch everyone up with that. I finished my fourth (out of six) round of chemo. Chemo was uneventful for the most part. My dad and Rigo accompanied me to both treatments. Thanks guys! My oncologist, Dr. P, gave me a low down on my counts, which are low, but stable. So far I am doing great because we haven't had to delay any treatments because of my counts. That is one of the benefits of having treatment in the spring rather than the winter.

I have an appointment June 14th in Stanford with Dr. Kahn, my new plastic surgeon to evaluate my case and plan of action. I will be having all of my surgeries at Stanford, which is a relief to know I am getting the best care out there.

In regards to the rest of the "plan" for now, I will be finishing this set of chemo at the end of June ... wooohoo!!! (My hair should start growing back immediately!) I have the month of July off ... no cancer treatment at all, just make sure the baby is baking, and he will be, Fresno in July ... hmm! The baby is due August 10th, but the doc's have indicated that I can induce a natural delivery (yeah) two weeks early. This works out perfect because the baby and I need 4 weeks off before I deliver to get both of our white blood cell counts up. This means I should expect the little guy to make his arrival the last week of July or first week of August.

Immediately after I deliver (okay, about 2 weeks later), I plan on going in for surgery. I have no idea how long the recovery should take and I have no idea what I plan on doing regarding reconstruction (immediate vs postponed). I do know that immediately after surgery, I will be beginning chemo again, but this time a different cocktail ... taxol and AC I think. This set of chemo will last about 12 weeks I believe. Again, I'll lose any hair I have. Taxol is a much more effective drug to treat breast cancer so it is essential I get this treatment. However, the drug is toxic to the baby, that is why I am not getting it now and explains why I cannot breast feed. I am thinking this gets me to November, December of this year ... yuck, 2007 is just a ugh year, aside from the greatest gift ever ... our little guy!

Radiation is probably going to be nixed out of the treatment plan for now since I am having a bilateral (double) mastectomy. As for the ovaries, I am still waiting to see how this delivery goes ... do I want 10 more kids, no more kids, one more kid??? We'll see ... but I highly doubt it is gonna be 10 more kids!

As I explained early during this journey, we don't know my stage of cancer and we never will because I am pregnant and I can't undergo any screening or body scans. When I have surgery, the doc's will remove and examine my lymph nodes, which will give us a good indication on whether the cancer has spread.

I think I am pretty glad that I don't know my stage, and never will. The realities of this disease is definitely taking on a new form to me. I know that people die from cancer, but I guess I haven't really focused much attention on that over the last few months. But the last two weeks, the realities have begun to set in a little more. I met a woman at Target last week. A beautiful woman whom I could immediately tell was on chemo like myself. I decided to approach her and introduce myself. We had a pleasant conversation. Her first question for me was "what stage are you?" "I'm pregnant so we don't know my stage. You?" "Stage 4, it's in my lungs and bones. I can't really breathe well." Ugh ... I had a terrible knot in my stomach. Here is this woman who represents so much of what I am going through, but her battle is so much more difficult. Here I am, 7 months pregnant and on chemo and I have it easier than her. She has such an uphill battle, one that is not impossible, I know, I am hopeful, but one that has the odds against her. I am sad when I leave.

I meet another wonderful woman who introduced herself to me. I remind her of her daughter, an amazingly gorgeous young girl I see as her mom brings out pictures from her wallet. I ask how old her daughter was at her diagnosis? A mere 16 years old. However, this beautiful girl didn't make it and now is in heaven. Again, I am sad. I say a prayer for her, for Alex, the young girl, and I ask her for any help we can get from above!

The Relay for Life in Fresno was held on May 5th. What an experience ... I was given the priceless opportunity to stand up and share my story. I proudly did ... with a few fumbles along the way, but I got it out nonetheless. There were hundreds of kindred spirits there, all with the same purpose, to eliminate this horrific disease of cancer. It is overwhelming and fulfilling to know there are so many supporters out there, in my own community. But again, I have to say, I left feeling a little bit sad ... sad for the number of people who lost their fights with this ugly disease, and sad for the families they left behind. I am hopeful for me and my son, but the reality of this disease is ever-so-present. That makes me humble and gracious to God for the gift of every single day.

Rigo and I also made it out to the Komen Race for the Cure in Sacramento last weekend. We both walked the 5k with our dear friends from college, Seth and Karin and their adorable little ones, Logan (3 yrs old who walked the entire 5k) and Avery. They say that 25,000 people participated. 25,000 people took part in the fight against Breast Cancer ... wow, 25,000! Thank you Seth and Karin for inviting us ... we'll be there next year, but next time we'll have a stroller!